5 Notes on Dreaming Bigger for Yourself
Important guidelines for understanding how to work with your dreams and make them come true...
Today I want to talk about dreams because they’re at the core of the work I do with clients. When people come to me, we often start by talking about their “dream scenarios.” Or sometimes they come to me and lay out a vision for their life they want to “manifest.” I’m always embracing of people’s dreams because it’s important to share what’s on your heart. However, I also meet dreams with a certain level of discernment.
While it’s very important to dream bigger for yourself, it’s also important said dreams don’t tip over into the world of fantasy. It’s one thing to want to make beautiful changes in your life, but it’s entirely another to want to upend everything and create a whole new world in an instant. I don’t encourage impulse and will not be the coach that tells you to just “leap and the net will appear.” Instead, we start by going deep into how you’re dreaming bigger for yourself and get real about what this vision looks and feels like.
Over time I’ve noticed five specific points always come up in every discussion I have about dreams with my clients, and today I want to share them with you. I wouldn’t consider these hard and fast rules. They’re more like guidelines. I urge you to read them carefully and be radically honest as you dream bigger for yourself.
Dreams must be possible to attain. Many, many things are possible for us in this lifetime, however, we must not aim to live in a fantasy. A good gauge for knowing if a dream is possible to attain is to study if someone has done it before us. Has someone moved abroad happily? Bought a crazy awesome house? Built a billion-dollar business from scratch? Married a loving partner and built a happy family despite a terrible upbringing? Chances are the answer is yes. However, if your dream is completely outside the realm of possibility it’s a good idea to check in with yourself. I always suggest clients start with dreams that are attainable using tools they have or can safely access and grow from there.
You make the dreams, not the places. A lot of people tell me about their “dream homes” or “dream vacations” or “dream careers” but I remind them that they’re the ones that create the dream scenarios, not the place. A beautiful home can be a wonderful starting point, but it’s your work on it and your life in it that makes it your “dream home.” Same with a vacation, career, partner, and just about anything else. Aim for starting points you’d really like, then take responsibility for creating the dreams you’re envisioning in your mind’s eye through your words and actions. Be careful not to latch onto someone else’s version of the “dream life” you see on social media and try to force what you perceive to be ideal into your world. It’s fun to be inspired by others, but if all you do is wish for other people’s lives you’ll never create the beauty in your own.
Dream bigger, your horizon stops where you do. I’m always encouraging people to see what’s possible for themselves and know that those possibilities never end. The horizon ends when you decide it does. There’s no wrong place to end, but never doubt what’s possible for you at any age. I often use the metaphor of our dreams being on a staircase. You can climb as many steps as you’d like. Once you attain a goal or reach a milestone go ahead and set another one that’s a little broader or bolder. This is how people make big changes and achieve big things. They hold their big vision and set attainable goals to reach along the way.
Don’t use dreams as a bypass for the important internal work. Dreams are a lot of fun to envision, but don’t use them as an excuse for bypassing any important healing work you need to do. All of us must untether ourselves from old beliefs, bad memories, and more in order to truly believe what’s possible for our lives. This work is typically therapeutic in nature and is very important. Ignoring unhealthy behaviors or stuffing down negative emotions is never a good idea. It can be tempting to gloss over this step, but please don’t. You can move forward toward your dreams and work on yourself at the same time.
Enjoy the process and enjoy your life right now. Don’t wait for a dream to “come true” to be happy. Yes, the process is messy, magical, tenuous, and triumphant - often all at once - but that’s the fun of it. We should all be enjoying the process of unfolding as we move forward. What are we learning each day? What sweet rewards are there to enjoy along the way? What can you delight in right this minute while things are still coming together? I’ve never seen a dream house, dream job, or dream partner make someone’s life instantly perfect. The process must be enjoyed, too.
To make your dreams real you must first be honest about what’s on your heart and in your mind. Knowing yourself and having this self-awareness is what will help you see what changes you need to make, what actions you need to take, to begin to make it all become real. When clients come to me it’s because they’re ready to make changes in their lives. I always encourage them to dream a little bigger for themselves and not play it safe. There’s magic in declaring what you want for your life and working toward it, you’ll receive all kinds of support you never thought possible, I can promise you that.
Eleanor Roosevelt was right when she said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Envision them, take actionable steps toward them, and know they’re there for a reason. Your life is yours to design and trusting yourself and your dreams is the first step to making it all real.
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